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Welcome!

Welcome to the first edition of the “Marriage Ensurance” newsletter. It is designed to be a communiqué with all my former marriage coaching clients as well as those considering marriage coaching. The five categories of marriage coaching are Pre-Marriage, Newly Married, Married Couples seeking Enrichment, Blended Families, and Empty Nesters.
Please visit my website, www.yourmarriagecoach.org, and learn of the possibilities - the relationship tools, couple techniques, and rewards - for those who care to invest in their relationship. Give your marriage the very best you can; for, it deserves your very best. A wedding is a one-day event, but a marriage is a lifetime commitment; and, it affects all in your extended family, especially the children.
Please pass this newsletter to anyone whose relationship you believe might benefit from marriage coaching and give them permission to seek marriage coaching with your personal suggestion. If your friends and family would like to subscribe to the newsletter, please inform them they may do so on-line or invite them to contact me directly. I will publish this newsletter periodically with helpful insights and suggestions.

Marriage Ensurance

We all believe in insurance. It’s mandatory for our vehicles as well as our health and homes. Then, we insure our lives, the lives of our families, and some even their animals. Today, it is possible to insure almost anything - for a price.
While I wish I could offer marriage insurance policies, the closest is to offer Marriage Ensurance. To ensure means to make sure or certain. In 35 years of marriage coaching, my clients have well exceeded the national average of 50% success in marriage to an 86% success level.  However, my goal is 100%!
Several years ago, I was devastated when a Pre-marriage client sufered divorce. I apologized and asked what more I could have done to prepare them. I was reassured I had done a great job in preparing them, but the one thing I couldn’t do was live the marriage for them. That was my frustration.
Joyce and I just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary and we have never been happier in our marriage. I want this happiness for all married couples, but I can’t do more than share my experience, equip couples to navigate the future, and coach them to make wise decisions and share equally in the process.
One of the best relationship tools I am now using is my new Marriage Development Plan. It is designed to help couples understand the areas of challenge unique to them as a couple and to set goals to glide past them and achieve marital success and happiness.
Whether you are a Pre-Married or an Empty Nester, this Marriage Development Plan will be the most valuable asset for the the road ahead and the success of your relationship.  At the one year anniversary from our marriage coaching sessions, we will come together again to review your progress with your relationship tools and your Marriage Development Plan.  The 1 year audit will include revising the goals and the Marriage Development Plan for a subsequent 3 year audit.
The Marriage Development Plan was derived from my coaching experience and has proven to be a most valuable tool in ensuring your marriage. If you have previously been in marriage coaching and do not have your personal Marriage Development Plan, please let’s schedule an audit to make your plan. After 35 years of being happily married, Joyce and I discover we still need to tweak our Marriage Development Plan. If you are engaged, please schedule a free introductory session to learn how marriage coaching and building your plan can help ensure your marriage.

A Better Sex Life

No doubt, some gents upon noticing this headline in the May 10th, 2004 edition of Newsweek thought immediately about giving it to their wives to read for needed enlightenment. However, if they took the time to really understand it, they would probably be surprised to learn the best “turn-on” for their wives is having a strong emotional connection with them. “In a Kinsey Institute survey, women ranked an overall sense of well-being as their top pre-requisite for satisfying sex,…”, so the article stated.
One of the best books about this topic is Love Busters by Willard Harley.  The bi-line to this recent book is: “Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love.” Unfortunately, we fall into these habits very easily, but escaping them is most difficult. Give me a call for your free introductory consultation to learn how you avoid these relationship-destroying habits.

Is Marriage All You Had Hoped?

A recent BBC article stated newlyweds should lower their hopes of finding happiness in marriage.  The secret to a long and happy marriage was not to expect too much from it. I wholeheartedly disagree with this premise.  Not that I’m idealistic or even old fashioned, but I firmly believe marriage can be the most rewarding relationship you will build in your life.
About 5,000 years ago, an engaged man and woman in the Sumerian culture would list on a clay tablet their expectations of each other. If either were unwilling to agree to the other’s list, the wedding was cancelled.
Our marriage agreements say very little about what a husband and wife may expect from each other. As a result, disappointment after marriage is very common.    A pre-requisite in marriage coaching is clarifying marital objectives to avoid entering into a relationship with unrealistic expectations. Harley offers 3 critical promises for marital success requiring pre-agreement:
1) Promise of Care: “I promise to meet your most important emotional needs.”
2) Promise of Time: “I promise to give you my undivided attention, at least 15 hours each week.”
3) Promise of Protection: “I promise to avoid being the cause of your unhappiness.”
These simple statements are loaded with the promise of success. By initially agreeing to these expectations, the stage is set for a loving and fulfilling relationship. If agreements are established as goals in your Marriage Development Plan, the couple will be on a streamlined path for a marriage with rich rewards. They will be pre-eliminating most disagreements and be able to match their dearest expectations in married life.